sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
