ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
