Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
