I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
