If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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