she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
