Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Randomize
