The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
