I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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