I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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