I just pynch a tree in the face
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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