Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
