Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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