Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
