it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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