their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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