Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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