Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
