So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
