I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
