It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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