By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So. Much. Porn.
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