ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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