He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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