Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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