Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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