I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
