I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
