I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
