my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it because I queefed?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
