Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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