Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
