I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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