His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
