She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
