We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
