I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
