the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
