Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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