This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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