I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
