I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
