I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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