ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
