I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
