That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So vagazzling was a success
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
