I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
