I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
