Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
