i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
